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Posts tagged Movies

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Taken 2 - I wasn’t too taken with it.

I don’t know who Taken producer Luc Besson is or what he wants, but it so happens that I, and many other fans of the original Taken, come equipped with a particular set of skills—skills we’ve acquired over a lifetime of discerning between good and bad action movies, skills that make us a nightmare for people like him. If he stops churning out Taken sequels now, that will be the end of it. We will not look for him, we will not pursue him. But if hecomes out with Taken 3, we will look for him, we will find him, and we will kill him. Or at least kill his movie at the box office.

Hilarious.

Filed under movies funny

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"Silent Hill: Revelation" AKA the sequel to the movie that I cannot watch without some serious squirming. Not even in broad daylight, not even with ALL of the lights on.

Filed under movies

167,348 notes &

20 ways to survive in a horror movie.

A quick run-down should you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.

1. Don’t have sex.

  • Seriously
  • Abstinence is key.

2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.

  • I don’t care how good he says his weed is
  • he is cuckoo bananas
  • and he wants you dead.

3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.

  • There are six words you should YouTube, should you get the chance
  • “Kevin Bacon in Friday the 13th”

4. Find a good hiding place and… STAY. THERE.

  • If the killer can’t see you or hear you WHY WOULD YOU MOVE?
  • Possibly the easiest rule to follow and, ironically enough, the easiest to break.

5. Always wear sensible shoes, ‘cause you never know when you’ll need to run through the woods.

  • Someone will always be barefoot
  • Or in heels
  • Or just plain clumsy
  • And will sprain their ankles
  • And die.

6. If the town looks deserted, it’s probably because everyone is dead.

  • Don’t walk around looking for people
  • House of Wax, anyone?

7. Don’t be a hero.

  • Unless you’re name is Harry Fucking Potter, you will die.
  • Hell, maybe even then.
  • I mean.

8. If you hear something creepy in the distance, like a dog’s yelp cut off mid-bark, don’t investigate.

  • The killer is there.
  • Also your dog is dead.

9. Always check the backseat before entering your vehicle.

  • The last thing you need is to be killed while trying to merge on the expressway.

10. If your car breaks down in front of a dilapidated gas station, don’t ask a sketchy-looking townie for help.

  • Some part of your body will wind up in his pick-up truck

11. Don’t go into the basement.

  • They are creepy enough without you dying in one.

12. If you’re trying to buy a house and the real estate agent won’t answer any direct questions about either the history of the home or the previous tenants, DO NOT MOVE IN.

  • At some point, someone in the house heard voices and cracked.

13. Turn off the television (and run away) if a girl crawls out of it.

  • It is obviously your wisest choice.
  • SEE ALSO: poltergeist, daughter trapped in tv because of.

14. If the walls of your house bleed, do not attempt an exorcism. 

  • Move very very far away
  • Because there’s blood on your walls.
  • Blood.
  • Your
  • Walls
  • Are 
  • Bleeding.

15. Don’t act like a detective.

  • Some crazy Japanese kid who meows like a cat will attack you in a closet.
  • If you live, awesome story to tell your friend, right?
  • But if you die, it is like the opposite of awesome.

16. Google the location you’ll be vacationing at.

  • If more than five reports for “Missing Persons” pops up, you know not to go there.
  • Issue. Solved.

17. Don’t get drunk. Or come under the influence of any mind-altering drug.

  • Running away from a killer is that much harder when you’re tipsy and giggling.

18. If you see someone in a mask, don’t assume it’s one of your friends playing a trick on you to scare you.

  • It is the killer.
  • ALSO: laughing while saying, “Tommy, is that you in that stupid mask? Oh, I’m so-o-o-o-o scared!” is not conducive to your surviving.
  • Killers are very sensitive about their disguises.

19. Don’t take a shower.

  • ONLY APPLIES IF:
  • It’s past midnight at the campground you and your sorority sisters are staying at or
  • The lock to the door doesn’t work and you hear creepy piano music

AND THE LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT:

20. If the call is coming from inside the house, get out.

  • Clearly the killer is not outside, now is he

^ Full of win, this is.

(Source: nuggetsrus, via theharrypotterhq)

Filed under reblogged funny movies

44,026 notes &

nonnac:

levitational:

Here have some movies, just click on the one your want, load it and enjoy.
Beetlejuice
Hocus Pocus
Dark Shadows
Red Riding Hood
I Am Number Four
Robots
The Lorax
Tangled
Up
The Lion King
Beauty And The Beast
Shrek
Shrek 2
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer`s Stone
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Constantine
Pan`s Labyrinth
Spirited Away
MirrorMask
Ponyo
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Princess Mononoke
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Small Soldiers
My Neighbour Totoro
Howl`s Moving Castle
The Frighteners
Legion
Lemony Snicket`s A Series of Unfortunate Events
Sleepy Hollow
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
The Hunger Games
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Paul
Sherlock Holmes
Inkheart
Sky High
Interview with the Vampire
Red Riding Hood
Casper
Mars Attacks!
The Mask
How to Train Your Dragon
Gabriel
Love Wrecked
Katy Perry: Part of Me
Friends with Benefits
Project X
Youth in Revolt
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Never Been Kissed
Castle in the Sky
Home Alone
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Whip It
Hotel for Dogs
Tooth Fairy
Beverly Hills Ninja
Valentine`s Day
Meet the Spartans
The Hot Chick
A Cinderella Story
50 First Dates
Nancy Drew
Where The Wild Things Are
Grown Ups
13 Going on 30
Miss Congeniality
10 Things I Hate About You
Eragon
Vampires Suck
Just Friends
Tropic Thunder
Dude, Where`s My Car?

YOU BEAUTIFUL BLOODY HUMAN BEING

Oooh!

nonnac:

levitational:

Here have some movies, just click on the one your want, load it and enjoy.

Beetlejuice

Hocus Pocus

Dark Shadows

Red Riding Hood

I Am Number Four

Robots

The Lorax

Tangled

Up

The Lion King

Beauty And The Beast

Shrek

Shrek 2

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer`s Stone

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Constantine

Pan`s Labyrinth

Spirited Away

MirrorMask

Ponyo

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Princess Mononoke

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Small Soldiers

My Neighbour Totoro

Howl`s Moving Castle

The Frighteners

Legion

Lemony Snicket`s A Series of Unfortunate Events

Sleepy Hollow

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

The Hunger Games

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Paul

Sherlock Holmes

Inkheart

Sky High

Interview with the Vampire

Red Riding Hood

Casper

Mars Attacks!

The Mask

How to Train Your Dragon

Gabriel

Love Wrecked

Katy Perry: Part of Me

Friends with Benefits

Project X

Youth in Revolt

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Never Been Kissed

Castle in the Sky

Home Alone

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Whip It

Hotel for Dogs

Tooth Fairy

Beverly Hills Ninja

Valentine`s Day

Meet the Spartans

The Hot Chick

A Cinderella Story

50 First Dates

Nancy Drew

Where The Wild Things Are

Grown Ups

13 Going on 30

Miss Congeniality

10 Things I Hate About You

Eragon

Vampires Suck

Just Friends

Tropic Thunder

Dude, Where`s My Car?

YOU BEAUTIFUL BLOODY HUMAN BEING

Oooh!

(Source: darkspells, via theharrypotterhq)

Filed under reblogged movies

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How Scientology Auditioned Women for a Cruise Marriage

Why is it that such a far-fetched story sounds almost plausible when Scientology is involved?

Scientology’s first pick was Tehran-born actress Nazanin Boniadi (probably best known as Nora on How I Met Your Mother). After heavy preparations and auditing in October 2004, Boniadi met Cruise secretly in New York in November, going skating and spending the night together. But Cruise was almost immediately annoyed with Boniadi, complaining she didn’t gush enough love to him. But her biggest infraction was being rude to Miscavige—she repeatedly asked him to repeat himself, a big no-no in communications-obsessed Scientology. Scientology officials told Boniadi her relationship with Cruise was over in January, and she was sent to the group’s Celebrity Center in Florida, where after spilling details of the saga, she was punished by scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush and digging ditches in the middle of the night. Of course, Scientology denies the whole thing. (Note: Mark Rathbun, famous anti-Scientology crusader, says that the Vanity Fair piece was written without Boniadi’s involvement, and the actress has made no comments on her Twitter page).

Filed under celebrities movies

0 notes &

Filming has begun for The Wolverine:

The first shots of Hugh Jackman on the set of “The Wolverine,” the sequel to 2009’s “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” (itself a spinoff of Fox’s popular “X-Men” series) surfaced this week.
Filmed on a set made to look like a Japanese prisoner of war camp on a secluded beach of Kurnell, a suburb of Sydney, the scene officially kicked off production of the superhero blockbuster.
A shirtless Jackman was spotted running at full speed with a crowd of extras. Jackman told The News last year that he goes on a 6,000-calorie-a-day diet to pack on 30 pounds of muscle every time he returns to the role that made him a Hollywood star.
Two days later, Jackman appeared on the set in Picton with a long-haired wigg and fake beard, leading to speculation that Wolverine spends a whole lot of time inside that camp in the film’s plot.
Between takes, the 43-year-old Aussie actor — fresh off wrapping his previous project, the movie musical “Les Miserables,” was photographed chatting and smiling with members of the crew and even doling scratch-off lottery tickets.
Earlier this week, Jackman tweeted: “We’re on day 1 of shooting. … wolverine is back … feel so pumped about this one. … never felt so ready!!!! will keep y’all posted!!!”
"The Wolverine" is set in Japan, and revolves around the claw-popping superhero’s training with a samurai warrior. Directed by James Mangold, the movie co-stars Will Yun Lee and Japanese actor Hiroyuki Sanada.
Though the movie was originally scheduled to film in Japan last summer, the production was moved after being delayed by the earthquake that struck that country in March 2011 and the exit of original director Darren Aronofsky.
Jackman, though, helped campaign for a move to Australia once the production started looking for a new home.
"To be shooting a movie of this magnitude here at home to me is one of great privileges I’ve had in my career," Jackman told reporters last week during a visit by Prime Minister Julia Gillard to the soundstages where some of the movie will be shot.
"The Wolverine" will hit theaters on July 26, 2013.

Here’s hoping they do a better job with the claws this time around.
(source)

Filming has begun for The Wolverine:

The first shots of Hugh Jackman on the set of “The Wolverine,” the sequel to 2009’s “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” (itself a spinoff of Fox’s popular “X-Men” series) surfaced this week.

Filmed on a set made to look like a Japanese prisoner of war camp on a secluded beach of Kurnell, a suburb of Sydney, the scene officially kicked off production of the superhero blockbuster.

A shirtless Jackman was spotted running at full speed with a crowd of extras. Jackman told The News last year that he goes on a 6,000-calorie-a-day diet to pack on 30 pounds of muscle every time he returns to the role that made him a Hollywood star.

Two days later, Jackman appeared on the set in Picton with a long-haired wigg and fake beard, leading to speculation that Wolverine spends a whole lot of time inside that camp in the film’s plot.

Between takes, the 43-year-old Aussie actor — fresh off wrapping his previous project, the movie musical “Les Miserables,” was photographed chatting and smiling with members of the crew and even doling scratch-off lottery tickets.

Earlier this week, Jackman tweeted: “We’re on day 1 of shooting. … wolverine is back … feel so pumped about this one. … never felt so ready!!!! will keep y’all posted!!!”

"The Wolverine" is set in Japan, and revolves around the claw-popping superhero’s training with a samurai warrior. Directed by James Mangold, the movie co-stars Will Yun Lee and Japanese actor Hiroyuki Sanada.

Though the movie was originally scheduled to film in Japan last summer, the production was moved after being delayed by the earthquake that struck that country in March 2011 and the exit of original director Darren Aronofsky.

Jackman, though, helped campaign for a move to Australia once the production started looking for a new home.

"To be shooting a movie of this magnitude here at home to me is one of great privileges I’ve had in my career," Jackman told reporters last week during a visit by Prime Minister Julia Gillard to the soundstages where some of the movie will be shot.

"The Wolverine" will hit theaters on July 26, 2013.

Here’s hoping they do a better job with the claws this time around.

(source)

Filed under movies